So they’re inspired by Heinz Beans, which I do think are phenomenal in themselves. Nothing compares to those - they are genuinely even now cooked in the can, and when you buy cheaper ones you can’t believe you’re eating them.
But these are my own version I call Meinz Beanz. I wouldn’t give up actual Heinz beans because they are amazing. But these are close enough, but a bit fruitier, for when you want something a bit more special.
Why would you make your own version of something that is perfectly good in a can? As Mrs Doyle once said, maybe I LIKE the misery….
And these are different, even if close enough to merit the title.
You’ll want to fall in.
Meinz Beanz
2 cans of cannellini beans with liquid.
2 tbsp of tomato purée I tsp of garlic or onion powder
Half a box of passata (or increase amount of tomato purée and add some water)
A tablespoon of very red unsmoked paprika
A teaspoon of smoked paprika (or both with smoked if you prefer)
Salt to taste
Brown sugar to taste - you’d be surprised how much you need of salt and sugar to make them taste like Heinz (or maybe not), but fuckit this ain’t a health farm and life is miserable enough.
Mix all the ingredients except the salt in a cast iron pot (what the Americans call a dutch oven, and middle class people call a Le Creuset, even if, like me, yours is a cheap knockoff from Tesco).
Now either put them in the oven for an hour with the lid on at around 180 degrees.
Or add about half a cup of water, bring to the boil on the hob, then reduce to the lowest heat with a bubble every, say, 30 seconds, and leave the lid off.
Simmer very gently for an hour - you may have to add a bit of water as it goes, so keep an eye on it, especially around the half way mark.
Add the salt at the end to avoid the beans going hard. (But probably not the end of the world if you add it earlier).
I made them with home made oven chips - potatoes with the skins on, cut into long chunks, rolled in a good slug of olive oil, and cooked at 200 degrees in the oven for an hour, turning once.
Enjoy! It’s not diet food but it does feel oddly wholesome, and you’ll feel like a proper self-satisfied hipster tw*t. And who doesn’t want that?
Bon Ape Tit.
Fabulously plebeian. Or should I say, plebean?