• Artwork
    • Artwork
    • Disposable Boys: Exhibition 2021
    • Charcoal
    • Pastel
    • Paint
    • Collage
    • Illustration
    • Sketchbook
    • New Work
  • Writing
    • Blog: Culture and Politics
    • Blog: The Catford Lifestyle
    • Essays: Cultural Politics
  • About
  • Contact

Catford Massive

Art by Alex Evans

  • Artwork
    • Artwork
    • Disposable Boys: Exhibition 2021
    • Charcoal
    • Pastel
    • Paint
    • Collage
    • Illustration
    • Sketchbook
    • New Work
  • Writing
    • Blog: Culture and Politics
    • Blog: The Catford Lifestyle
    • Essays: Cultural Politics
  • About
  • Contact

Land of Fridge Magnets

A tenth of my collection. The Pasolini one is a badge; so sue me.

A tenth of my collection. The Pasolini one is a badge; so sue me.

In the history of niche products - of finding a solution to a problem that didn’t exist, and filling a gap, both literal and metaphorical - surely fridge magnets are up there in the pantheon of greats.

Sicily, it transpires, is the land of the fridge magnet - I have never seen such variety. It offers a veritable eco-system of ecologically unsound non-biodegradable doodads. I bought four in the last week, possibly five (TBC - I haven’t fully unpacked). 

I now fear for the structural integrity of my fridge door, where twenty years of effigies of world-famous edifices cling, all blinging primary colours and fake-ass stucco and stone. Fortunately I have a capacious, double-doored fridge, and a rapacious, near insatiable lust for kitchen kitsch.

My fridge magnets are my favourite souvenirs. They don’t need dusting, like the snow globes I originally focused on.

Also, a travel learning: the water in snowglobes often yellows over time. I was browsing through boxes and found my Parisian one. Et voila! L’Île De la Cité submerged in piss. Take that, French people.

Fridge magnets also don’t take up shelf space like the bejillions of rubber Japanese kaiju and shrine effigies I brought back from Tokyo and Kyoto. Shelves can be filled with books, records, even food, but what else are you going to do with your fridge door?

And they are fairly robust, in fact, robust enough to still be there, plastic-pristine, in a landfill in 30,000 years, long after they have been prized out of my cold dead hand. That said, my New Zealand blue penguin has lost his beak; my Munich beer glass/ bottle opener has lost its handle; each of my three Madeiran lizards has lost a limb at a minimum, and a head in at least one case.

I don’t have a favourite - they’re like my children. Although, the magnets representing places I didn’t really like are relegated to the side, above the cat litter tray. This does actually approximate my approach to children, but with them it’s the attic, obvs.

The toxoplasmosis red zone of cat litter central does not include the magnet for Las Vegas, however, even though it is the worst place I have ever been. That’s because it is nonetheless a place with truly awesome fridge magnets. I think this in itself says much about Las Vegas.

I thought my collection was impressive until, in a half-hearted stab at looking like some kind of real writer, I gave journalist and blogger’s friend, Wikipedia, a cursory check. It transpires a woman called Louise J. Greenfarb in the US has a collection of around 45,000. And she lives in… Las Vegas.

Americans do everything bigger, although usually In a slightly terrifying way, like hormone-injected, chlorinated chicken breasts.

So I’ll never compete with her. But perhaps in the UK I could aspire to be something of a local hero? No. Apparently Tony Lloyd, a teacher in Cardiff UK, is also a major collector, with around 5,000. He’s been away to 104 places. And that, my friends, probably says a great deal about Cardiff.

My question with all of this is, how many fridges do they have?

Cardiff: a reason to travel.

Cardiff: a reason to travel.

Friday 06.21.19
Posted by Alex Evans
 

Seafood surprises

I always feel I ought to try the seafood when I’m in places by the sea. But Jesus Christ, whenever I do I’m horrified. If it isn’t the half severed head and face of a dead sea-beast staring back at me with milky eyes and rigor mortis, it’s the sheer Lovecraftian horror of seeing what has been pulled from the depths, fried and served as a beige and black mass of insectoid legs, exoskeletal armour, and suckered tentacles all aquiver.

The very deep did rot: O Christ! 
That ever this should be! 

Yea, slimy things did crawl with legs 
Upon the slimy sea. 

- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Lovecraft’s Old Ones finally meet their match in a deep fat fryer in Sicily.

Lovecraft’s Old Ones finally meet their match in a deep fat fryer in Sicily.

Simply delicious - Coleridge’s Catch of the Day.

Simply delicious - Coleridge’s Catch of the Day.

Wednesday 06.12.19
Posted by Alex Evans
 
Newer / Older

All content copyright Catford Massive 2019-2020.